It was a beautiful day on my birthday and we had some awesome Thai dinner with friends. We were chatting, singing and enjoying the pleasures of life that comes with togethernss...Radha had brought a book with her about Benjamin Franklin and was reading it to all of us. She read "Benjamin Franklin lived a long time ago" It was then that THE DISCUSSION began......
Now, dying is a very difficult subject to talk about. Even as mature individuals we are in a constant endeavor to evade the topic, leave alone talk about it with our kids. Isn't this amazing - dying is the ultimate experience of life and yet how unwilling we are to even talk about it. Or is it?
Back to the story. So where was I? Yes, Radha began reading-"Benjamin Franklin lived 200 years ago" However, thats not how Sehar heard it. "Mumma, has he died", she asked. Engrossed in the moment called life I answered - "Yes Sehar he has died". I didn't know Benjamin Franklin and didn't really care about him dying. Ofcourse, my lack of compassion for Ben Franklin wasn't my real failure in that moment. My failure was my inability to comprehend my child's mind, her fears and her doubts. Sehar, who was in deep thought asked me - "Why did he die?".."Because he was old", I answered...
As if, this was exactly what she feared I would say, Sehar started crying. I heard these words amidst her incessant sobbing"Mumma, I don't want you to ever get old and I don't want you to die."
The moment had slipped quietly out of our hands into our child's teary eyes, where it popped the last question for the day.. Enough to break any parent's heart she asked "Mumma, am I going to die too? and if I do will you get a new Sehar"..
We quietly kissed her and held her tight as we slipped into the zone where our parents stood years back. We asked her to touch our heart and we touched hers. And as we did that we told her, "We all are never going to die as Mumma and Daddy will live here in your heart and you in ours. And that's a magic spell which will keep as young, forever"..
With her fears allayed, Sehar smiled and after sometime dozed off. She held my finger tight through that night...
And thats when another truth about parenthood dawned on me - " Parenthood is not about telling "THE TRUTH". Its about concocting stories to see a different truth"...
And as if on cue I called my parents..................
Now, dying is a very difficult subject to talk about. Even as mature individuals we are in a constant endeavor to evade the topic, leave alone talk about it with our kids. Isn't this amazing - dying is the ultimate experience of life and yet how unwilling we are to even talk about it. Or is it?
Back to the story. So where was I? Yes, Radha began reading-"Benjamin Franklin lived 200 years ago" However, thats not how Sehar heard it. "Mumma, has he died", she asked. Engrossed in the moment called life I answered - "Yes Sehar he has died". I didn't know Benjamin Franklin and didn't really care about him dying. Ofcourse, my lack of compassion for Ben Franklin wasn't my real failure in that moment. My failure was my inability to comprehend my child's mind, her fears and her doubts. Sehar, who was in deep thought asked me - "Why did he die?".."Because he was old", I answered...
As if, this was exactly what she feared I would say, Sehar started crying. I heard these words amidst her incessant sobbing"Mumma, I don't want you to ever get old and I don't want you to die."
The moment had slipped quietly out of our hands into our child's teary eyes, where it popped the last question for the day.. Enough to break any parent's heart she asked "Mumma, am I going to die too? and if I do will you get a new Sehar"..
We quietly kissed her and held her tight as we slipped into the zone where our parents stood years back. We asked her to touch our heart and we touched hers. And as we did that we told her, "We all are never going to die as Mumma and Daddy will live here in your heart and you in ours. And that's a magic spell which will keep as young, forever"..
With her fears allayed, Sehar smiled and after sometime dozed off. She held my finger tight through that night...
And thats when another truth about parenthood dawned on me - " Parenthood is not about telling "THE TRUTH". Its about concocting stories to see a different truth"...
And as if on cue I called my parents..................
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